from the great short story, The Dead...
It was in the winter,’ she said, ‘about
the beginning of the winter when I was going to leave
my grandmother’s and come up here to the convent.
And he was ill at the time in his lodgings in Galway
and wouldn’t be let out, and his people in Oughterard
were written to. He was in decline, they said, or something
like that. I never knew rightly.’
She paused for a moment and sighed.
‘Poor fellow,’ she said. ‘He was very
fond of me and he was such a gentle boy. We used to
go out together, walking, you know, Gabriel, like the
way they do in the country. He was going to study singing
only for his health. He had a very good voice, poor
Michael Furey.’ ... ...
She stopped, choking with sobs. Gabriel held her hand
for a moment longer, irresolutely, and then, shy of
intruding on her grief, let it fall gently and walked
quietly to the window.
She was fast asleep.
Gabriel, leaning on his elbow, looked for a few moments
unresentfully on her tangled hair and half-open mouth,
listening to her deep-drawn breath. So she had had that
romance in her life: a man had died for her sake. It
hardly pained him now to think how poor a part he, her
husband, had played in her life. He watched her while
she slept, as though he and she had never lived together
as man and wife. His curious eyes rested long upon her
face and on her hair: and, as he thought of what she
must have been then, in that time of her first girlish
beauty, a strange, friendly pity for her entered his
soul. He did not like to say even to himself that her
face was no longer beautiful, but he knew that it was
no longer the face for which Michael Furey had braved
death.
Perhaps she had not told him all the story. His eyes
moved to the chair over which she had thrown some of
her clothes. A petticoat string dangled to the floor.
One boot stood upright, its limp upper fallen down:
the fellow of it lay upon its side. He wondered at his
riot of emotions of an hour before. From what had it
proceeded? From his aunt’s supper, from his own
foolish speech, from the wine and dancing, the merry-making
when saying good night in the hall, the pleasure of
the walk along the river in the snow. Poor Aunt Julia!
She, too, would soon be a shade with the shade of Patrick
Morkan and his horse. He had caught that haggard look
upon her face for a moment when she was singing ‘Arrayed
for the Bridal’. Soon, perhaps, he would be sitting
in that same drawing-room, dressed in black, his silk
hat on his knees. The blinds would be drawn down and
Aunt Kate would be sitting beside him, crying and blowing
her nose and telling him how Julia had died. He would
cast about in his mind for some words that might console
her, and would find only lame and useless ones. Yes,
yes: that would happen very soon.
The air of the room chilled his shoulders. He stretched
himself cautiously along under the sheets and lay down
beside his wife. One by one, they were all becoming
shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in
the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither
dismally with age. He thought of how she who lay beside
him had locked in her heart for so many years that image
of her lover’s eyes when he had told her that
he did not wish to live.
Generous tears filled Gabriel’s eyes. He had never
felt like that himself towards any woman, but he knew
that such a feeling must be love. The tears gathered
more thickly in his eyes and in the partial darkness
he imagined he saw the form of a young man standing
under a dripping tree. Other forms were near. His soul
had approached that region where dwell the vast hosts
of the dead. He was conscious of, but could not apprehend,
their wayward and flickering existence. His own identity
was fading out into a grey impalpable world: the solid
world itself, which these dead had one time reared and
lived in, was dissolving and dwindling. A few light
taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had
begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes,
silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight.
The time had come for him to set out on his journey
westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general
all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the
dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly
upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly
falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was
falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard
on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly
drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the
spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His
soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly
through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent
of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
James
Joyce