Something To Be Taken Seriously
We’re taking a breather from taxes, decent government, and the usual issues we talk about here to address an equally pressing one, Valentine’s Day. On the scale of controversy, our once-a-year, semi-formal affirmation that yes, romance matters doesn’t ordinarily show up. We roosters can cluck quietly all we want that really, it’s not all that significant. Most of us are pretty good at this kind of denial but the fact is the chicks are right. And for any guys who care to grouse about that, we suggest you can either put the subject in the form of a question to your significant other and see what happens or leave the country for the day, whichever’s easier.
This we realize is a strong position but we’re prepared to back it up. So we’re going to try and set a few things here as straight as we see them. First there’s this persistent rumor amongst chicks that men are dogs. This is not true, men are not dogs. They will not cluck anything as is sometimes cackled. Most in fact are quite interesting, sensitive, and emotionally fragile creatures who thrive on the same kind of sensitivity their partners have every reasonable right to expect from them. We also find such comment disrespectful to dogs, which we are not.
We respect dogs, not because they can bite but because they’re faithful, and even when they make bad choices their intentions are honorable and without artifice.
Valentine’s Day isn’t some commercially manufactured holiday. Its origins lie amongst the most ancient ritual fertility celebrations of our species, thoughtfully adapted to something like its current form in the time of ancient Rome. Although parallel stories of different Saint Valentines exist, the most prevalent honors a young priest who was executed for secretly performing the sacrament of marriage at a time the Roman empire forbid it, believing married men made lousy soldiers. In any case, just as Christmas falls when the days are shortest and we’re most in need of light, Valentine’s Day falls when it’s coldest and we need the warmth. Roosters, that’s our job. Hens, we get it. For any more bird talk, you’ll have to turn to the Coopers’ column.
For this Valentine’s Day, we want our towns to set a national example of lovey-doviness (oops). We want our local markets to stock up on people’s favorite foods, along with chocolate, strawberries, and champagne. And we also want people to go out and buy them. Basically what we want to see is for people to go out or stay in but either way, to set aside some time to take care of each other. If you’re staying in we insist the men cook. If you’re going out to one of our great local restaurants, we think you should you order appetizers and dessert. We have good sources of information out there, and anyone failing to make a good-faith effort may find their name published next issue on a list of yucky valentines.
If this seems a somewhat militant stance, well, perhaps it is but we make no apology for it. Because if we can’t get people to think and talk about what really needs to be thought and talked about, what’s the point of a newspaper? And few things need to be thought about as much as what, and whom, we often take for granted. Usually it’s the people closest to us, who are there to support us one way or another every day of the year. And if one way of acknowledging our appreciation for that involves an extra measure of planning and effort and extravagance, we think it’s worth it. Because part of the strength of our communities is the strength of our families, and few couldn’t use an occasional gesture of shoring up, or a nice way to simply say thank you.
So guys, we put this ball in your court with every expectation you can rise to the occasion. We know there are challenges; babysitting, finding flowers and so on. We hope you’ll view it not as an imposition but as a chance to demonstrate that creativity, resourcefulness, and caring are all facets of the gems we know ourselves to be, and that our partners have always known. Besides, it’s not an obligation, it’s a privilege.































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