POINT
OF VIEW
Revisiting
A Modest Proposal...
I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve
years old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to
this age, they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds
and half a crown at most, on the exchange; which cannot turn to
account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriments
and rags having been at least four times that value. I shall now
therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not
be liable to the least objection. I have been assured by a very
knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy
child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing
and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled;
and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasse,
or a ragout. I do therefore humbly offer it to publick consideration,
that of the hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed,
twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth
part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black
cattle, or swine, and my reason is, that these children are seldom
the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our
savages, therefore, one male will be sufficient to serve four
females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old,
be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune, through
the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully
in the last month, so as to render them plump, and fat for a good
table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends,
and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will
make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt,
will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.
I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh
12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, encreaseth
to 28 pounds. I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore
very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured
most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.
Infant’s flesh will be in season throughout the year, but
more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we
are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that
fish being a prolifick dyet, there are more children born in Roman
Catholick countries about nine months after Lent, the markets
will be more glutted than usual, because the number of Popish
infants, is at least three to one in this kingdom, and therefore
it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the
number of Papists among us. I have already computed the charge
of nursing a beggar’s child (in which list I reckon all
cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about
two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman
would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat
child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent
nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend, or his
own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be
a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants, the mother
will have eight shillings neat profit, and be fit for work till
she produces another child. Those who are more thrifty (as I must
confess the times require) may flea the carcass; the skin of which,
artificially dressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies, and
summer boots for fine gentlemen.
From “A MODEST PROPOSAL... For preventing the children of
poor people in Ireland from being a burden on their parents or
country, and for making them beneficial to the publick.,”
published in 1729 by Dr. Jonathan Swift , then Dean of St. Patrick’s
Church in Dublin and later known for his other great satirical
work, Gullivers’ Travels, later mistaken by subsequent generations
as naught but a child’s fantasy. Swift’s satire, which
included much political pampleteering, started off being published
under pseudonyms, and was met with much rancor at the time. Just
consider how his works would be treated by today’s media,
especially panels of talking pundits on cable television...
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