POINT
OF VIEW
Chapter XXI... Games & Gamesmanship
MANNERISMS AT THE CARD TABLE
Mannerisms must be avoided like the plague. If there is one thing
worse than the horrible “post-mortem,” it is the incessant
repetition of some jarring habit by one particular player. The
most usual and most offensive is that of snapping down a card
as played, or bending a “trick” one has taken into
a letter “U,” or picking it up and trotting it up
and down on the table. Other pet offenses are drumming on the
table with one’s fingers, making various clicking, whistling,
or humming sounds, massaging one’s face, scratching one’s
chin with the cards, or waving the card one is going to play aloft
in the air in Smart Alec fashion as though shouting, “I
know what you are going to lead! And my card is ready!”
All mannerisms that attract attention are in the long run equally
unpleasant—even unendurable to one’s companions. Many
people whose game is otherwise admirable are rarely asked to play
because they have allowed some such silly and annoying habit to
take its hold upon them.
THE GOOD LOSER
The good loser makes it an invariable rule never to play for stakes
that it will be inconvenient to lose. The neglect of this rule
has been responsible for more “bad losers” than anything
else, and needless to say a bad loser is about as welcome at a
card table as rain at a picnic. Of course there _are_ people who
can take losses beyond their means with perfect cheerfulness and
composure. Some few are so imbued with the gambler’s instinct
that a heavy turn of luck, in either direction, is the salt of
life. But the average person is equally embarrassed in winning
or losing a stake “that matters” and the only answer
is to play for one that doesn’t.
GOLF
Golf is a particularly severe strain upon the amiability of the
average person’s temper, and in no other game, except bridge,
is serenity of disposition so essential. No one easily “ruffled”
can keep a clear eye on the ball, and exasperation at “lost
balls” seemingly bewitches successive ones into disappearing
with the completeness and finality of puffs of smoke. In a race
or other test of endurance a flare of anger might even help, but
in golf it is safe to say that he who loses his temper is pretty
sure to lose the game. Golf players of course know the rules and
observe them, but it quite often happens that idlers, having nothing
better to do, walk out over a course and “watch the players.”
If they know the players well, that is one thing, but they have
no right to follow strangers. A player who is nervous is easily
put off his game, especially if those watching him are so ill-bred
as to make audible remarks. Those playing matches of course expect
an audience, and erratic and nervous players ought not to go into
tournaments—or at least not in two-ball foursomes where
they are likely to handicap a partner. In following a match, onlookers
must be careful to stand well within bounds and neither talk nor
laugh nor do anything that can possibly distract the attention
of the players. The rule that you should not appoint yourself
mentor holds good in golf as well as in bridge and every other
game. Unless your advice is asked for, you should not instruct
others how to hold their clubs or which ones to use, or how they
ought to make the shot. A young woman must on no account expect
the man she happens to be playing with to make her presents of
golf-balls, or to caddy for her, nor must she allow him to provide
her with a caddy. If she can’t afford to hire one of her
own, she must either carry her own clubs or not play golf.
OTHER GAMES AND SPORTS
There are fixed rules for the playing of every game—and
for proper conduct in every sport. The details of these rules
must be studied in the “books of the game,” learned
from instructors, or acquired by experience. A small boy perhaps
learns to fish or swim by himself, but he is taught by his father
or a guide—at all events, some one—how and how not
to hold a gun, cast a fly, or ride a horse. But apart from the
technique of each sport, or the rules of each game, the etiquette—or
more correctly, the basic principles of good sportsmanship, are
the same. In no sport or game can any favoritism or evasion of
rules be allowed. Sport is based upon impersonal and indiscriminating
fairness to every one alike, or it is not “sport.”
And to be a good sportsman, one must be a stoic and never show
rancor in defeat, or triumph in victory, or irritation, no matter
what annoyance is encountered. One who can not help sulking, or
explaining, or protesting when the loser, or exulting when the
winner, has no right to take part in games and contests. =”PLAYING
THE GAME”= If you would be thought to play the game, meaning
if you aspire to be a true sportsman, you must follow the rules
of sportsmanship the world over: Never lose your temper. Play
for the sake of playing rather than to win. Never stop in the
middle of a tennis or golf match and complain of a lame ankle,
especially if you are losing. Unless it is literally impossible
for you to go on, you must stick it out. If you are a novice,
don’t ask an expert to play with you, especially as your
partner. If he should ask you in spite of your shortcomings, maintain
the humility proper to a beginner. If you are a woman, don’t
ape the ways and clothing of men. If you are a man, don’t
take advantage of your superior strength to set a pace beyond
the endurance of a woman opponent. And always give the opponent
the benefit of the doubt! Nothing is more important to your standing
as a sportsman, though it costs you the particular point in question.
A true sportsman is always a cheerful loser, a quiet winner, with
a very frank appreciation of the admirable traits in others, which
he seeks to emulate, and his own shortcomings, which he tries
to improve.
from Emily Post’s Etiquette
first published in 1922
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